Joanna Newsom: A Critical Review

16 April 07.

This is Not Fiction.

Unfortunately I didn’t bring a camera along to see Joanna Newsom play on Saturday night. Here is an artist’s impression of the evening. (The artist is me.)

Impressionist painting of Joanna Newsom at the Olympia

Ever since, I’ve been experiencing waves of uncontrollable nausea whenever I’m not listening to Joanna Newsom. The world seems a dark and dreary fishbowl. Grey and closed and threatening. Except when I’m listening to Joanna Newsom. My junkie friends tell me I am going through withdrawal symptoms but I know it’s more than this.

It has been an effort to shield myself from auditory contamination for the last two days. My surroundings appear vulgar and base. My wish is to preserve my current enlightenment; what alternative do I have? The only option is to take direction from those Islamic painters who blinded themselves in order to resist the western corruptions of pride and perspective. I will push a pin into each ear and seal my bliss. Later I can send Joanna the pins as a token of my gratitude. She will appreciate the gesture. I know she will. We have a connection.

Comments

  1. Oh man I know exactly how you feel. I think she’s dating Smog, though, so you’re gonna have to up your game if you want a chance.

    Feaverish  Apr 17, 01:42 AM  #

  2. Up what game? My game is always as up as it can possibly be.

    I am looking for nothing so puerile, of course, as a mere physical relationship.

    Pierce  Apr 17, 07:30 PM  #

  3. Maybe if you played the harp…

    Feaverish  Apr 17, 08:52 PM  #