There is this disengagement between my hand and my brain when I’m talking on the phone. I pick up and pencil and hover over paper, ready to note down anything necessary. While dialling the number I practice the trickier sentences of the information I’m looking to transmit. I try to predict difficult questions and come up with answers I will never use. Three minutes later I hang up and examine my sketchpad. I have written:
- The name of the person I am talking to. Thrice. I already knew this.
- A series of concentric circles.
- A couple of right-angle arrows, linking up information with no apparent connection.
- Underlines and boxes applied to entirely random words on the page. Often I will have underlined a word many, many times.
- My own name. Twice.
Related: A new habit I have noticed, when I am explaining concepts and plans to people at meetings, is grabbing for a piece of paper and drawing large squares, loose and overlapping as I speak. Often these markings represent no physical or virtual object at all, they are purely indications of time management or work direction. As if I could impart my thought processes to others through some abstract cryptograph. “This large box on the left, this is my dissatisfaction with Tuesday’s deadline. The squiggled line is that day I was sick last week.” As I draw on the table between us, nobody comments. Nobody references the pages. I have a drawer almost full of these graphs. I am thinking of binding and presenting them for my quarterly review. When I’m asked to explain what they mean I will gesture wildly and draw a series of overlapping squares.